Correct punctuation for showing a character's confusion Announcing the arrival of Valued Associate #679: Cesar Manara Planned maintenance scheduled April 17/18, 2019 at 00:00UTC (8:00pm US/Eastern) Announcing our contest results! Tags of the week! April 15-21, 2019: Planning & TranslationPunctuation-Quote or Quote-Punctuation?Background speech with foreground dialogueIs there a standard for dealing with lyrics in dialogue and narration in creative writing?What is the correct casing for a character's title?Do you bold punctuation directly after bold text?Which one is the correct dialogue punctuation format?Punctuation help needed — first-time novelistCorrect punctuation for he said, she saidCapitalisation after punctuation in dialogueTrying to figure out the correct type punctuation for dialogues
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Correct punctuation for showing a character's confusion
Announcing the arrival of Valued Associate #679: Cesar Manara
Planned maintenance scheduled April 17/18, 2019 at 00:00UTC (8:00pm US/Eastern)
Announcing our contest results!
Tags of the week! April 15-21, 2019: Planning & TranslationPunctuation-Quote or Quote-Punctuation?Background speech with foreground dialogueIs there a standard for dealing with lyrics in dialogue and narration in creative writing?What is the correct casing for a character's title?Do you bold punctuation directly after bold text?Which one is the correct dialogue punctuation format?Punctuation help needed — first-time novelistCorrect punctuation for he said, she saidCapitalisation after punctuation in dialogueTrying to figure out the correct type punctuation for dialogues
I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.
So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?
Here's an example:
1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.
2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.
(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)
style formatting punctuation
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
add a comment |
I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.
So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?
Here's an example:
1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.
2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.
(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)
style formatting punctuation
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00
add a comment |
I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.
So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?
Here's an example:
1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.
2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.
(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)
style formatting punctuation
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.
So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?
Here's an example:
1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.
2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.
(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)
style formatting punctuation
style formatting punctuation
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
asked Apr 11 at 18:03
Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow
1,220416
1,220416
Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00
add a comment |
Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00
Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00
Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!
The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.
Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.
Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.
Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.
Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
|
show 8 more comments
I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.
The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.
Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
add a comment |
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2 Answers
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2 Answers
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votes
Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!
The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.
Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.
Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.
Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.
Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
|
show 8 more comments
Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!
The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.
Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.
Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.
Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.
Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
|
show 8 more comments
Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!
The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.
Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.
Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.
Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.
Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!
The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.
Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.
Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.
Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.
Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
answered Apr 11 at 18:59
CynCyn
18.1k13984
18.1k13984
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
|
show 8 more comments
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
1
1
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
One disadvantage of ellipses is that they're not usually understood as coming in matched pairs, unlike dashes or (most obviously) parentheses. Also, ellipses look like pauses, rather than changes of clause/tone/speaker.
– gidds
Apr 12 at 8:52
1
1
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
I don't think I've ever seen an em-dash referred to as a "double" dash, though I have seen hyphen pairs used where the limitations of the medium don't allow for a proper em-dash. To me, it would certainly look wrong to see a pair of hyphens in place of an em-dash in a printed book. One note, let's not forget about the em-dash's smaller cousin the en-dash, which fits right in the middle between the em-dash and the hyphen.
– a CVn♦
Apr 12 at 9:12
3
3
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
Ellipses here imply two pauses, which feels wrong for the flow of the sentence; the interjection is intended as an interruption to the stream of thought, which ought not require a pause.
– BittermanAndy
Apr 12 at 9:14
1
1
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
I'm surprised this has so many upvotes, as I've always seen ellipses used this way as somewhat childish, certainly not something I'd use in any kind of writing I intend to publish. But there's no accounting for taste, I suppose.
– only_pro
Apr 12 at 14:08
1
1
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
@only_pro (mumble, mumble) Where'd that roll eyes emoji go?
– Cyn
Apr 12 at 14:10
|
show 8 more comments
I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.
The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.
Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
add a comment |
I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.
The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.
Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
add a comment |
I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.
The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.
Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.
The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.
Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
answered Apr 11 at 18:12
AmadeusAmadeus
59.2k677188
59.2k677188
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
add a comment |
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
5
5
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
1) A "double-dash" (two hyphens in a row, as you have typed) is an em-dash for a keyboard which cannot produce one. There isn't a separate mark of punctuation called a double-dash which has a different meaning or usage. 2) The interrupter showing confusion over gender would replace "She gestured." It's not meant to be in addition to what's there. The narrator doesn't know if the demon is a he or she, and so is confused about what pronoun to use.
– Lauren Ipsum
Apr 12 at 10:56
add a comment |
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Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…
– Cyn
Apr 11 at 19:00